For years, I haven’t felt the need to deal with my weight. I’m tall, and that gave me a sense of, well, not thin, but certainly not obese, though my BMI would have told me otherwise if I had just paid attention. Plus, my diet wasn’t so bad in China. Lots of vegetables, rice and meat. Frequent vegetarian meals. Not much junk. China has very few desserts that appeal to me, plus I walked a lot, and even started to run. But being back in America, away from my loving and appreciative husband who ignores my big belly, and being suddenly surrounded by people bigger than me, people who remind me of the passengers on the space cruiser in Disney’s WALL-E, has given me a wake-up call.
The United Suck-holes of All-You-Can-Eat
Did ya’ll know you are constantly surrounded by junk? It’s absolutely everywhere. I know you hear this all the time. But pay attention the next time you go to the grocery store. I mean REALLY pay attention. One corner of the store is devoted to fresh foods. The rest is processed crap, with the exception of a few small sections grains and dairy products. I’m sure it’s not that different in China, but when the potato chip aisle only has banana, blueberry and barbecue chicken-flavored options, you tend to ignore them more. I am currently blessed with eyes that see. I see stuff that I used to just grab because I felt like it: Doritos, Pop-tarts, frozen pizza and pastas. Cookies, crackers, soda and every kind of meal you could want just waiting for you to pop into your microwave, complete with high-glycemic, high fat, high salt and lots o’ chemicals. And the messages on TV are constant: “You should be hungry right now. You should eat something. Why not try our brand of crap? Please ignore that craving for a good, long drink of water. And please, don’t get up for anything other than getting a snack. Don’t take a walk. Don’t go to the gym or for a run. And please, don’t turn off the TV!”
If the TV isn’t on, don’t worry. There are billboards, radio ads, and built-in bad habits to keep you going for more.
Really. This is the trap of this country. And now, for a possibly a narrow window of time, I can see it for what it is. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t been sucked in. I have had Doritos. And pop-tarts. And, oh my gosh, America knows desserts! It has to STOP! Before I go completely blind, get even fatter, and start on this self-hatred loop of dieting and “falling off the wagon”.
So. “Amalia on Purpose” means I am building a more purposeful life-style, one that chooses optimum health over instant gratification. God, that’s hard! Getting exactly what you want when you want it such habit, and so completely encouraged everywhere here. But there is a space between when my body says, “Oooh, yes! Dunkin Donuts! It’s been too long, my darling!” and actually making the car turn in that direction. In that space I have a choice to make. What do I want more? Spiritual and physical health and strength, or that coffee roll? Right now, and hopefully for the rest of my life, the answer is the former. If I am conscious, I make the right choice.
The Clincher: Consciousness
Yesterday, because of poor planning, I had no food with me after my daughter’s oral surgery. I was starved, and I was an hour away from home. She couldn’t go in a store with me in her state, so my “only” option was a drive-through. She needed her pain meds as soon as we got home, and eating a salad while driving is not an option, so…you know the rest of the story. Fat, fat and more fat. Plus some sugar, because, oh my gosh, I can get Dr. Pepper in this country! Woo hoo! Consciousness was lacking in the morning before I left, the night before when I could have packed a more healthy lunch and snack, and in that moment, when I could have chosen a more healthy option than the “Son of the Baconator”.
Consciousness is essentially about the choices we make: what do we choose to do, and how do we choose to respond to the consequences of those actions. What do I really want? If I take time to become conscious, it becomes much more clear to me. Why, then, do I wait, or hesitate, or ignore the choice to move towards what I want? Do I need permission? Do I need to feel I deserve what I want? Do I have to be perfectly ready, or in exactly the right time and place? Or is it just bad habits? In other words, being on automatic pilot…being unconscious.
How do we cultivate consciousness over automatic habit?
What do you do to cultivate consciousness? How do you think cultivating more consciousness would affect your life? Your community? The country and the world?
I remember going to a restaurant right on the water in a town near New Orleans. We all ordered the seafood platter and what came for us on each plate could have fed 3 of us. There was a mountain of seafood… and every single item was deep fried… even the fish… Everything! It was sad. Here I was at a waterfront restaurant, looking forward to ‘fresh’ seafood, but not a single item in this 2+ pounds of food wasn’t floured then drenched in an I-don’t-know-how-old vat of boiling oil.
It isn’t just the choice of food, and the constant invitation to eat, (watch any tv show after 10pm and about 1/2 the commercials are about food), it’s the size of the portions that really get to me.
“The United Suck-holes of All-You-Can-Eat” ~ That really made me laugh!
Excellent point, David. You make me miss the seafood in Dalian.
Since returning to the States I have been astounded with serving sizes. I order a medium drink, and get this huge vat of soda. What are these people thinking? I can’t even finish one, and others go back for refills!
I am learning how much good rest and sleep are to optimal health, so I’ve banned TV after 10pm. I have yet to ban myself from my computer after 10pm. But at least I don’t get a barrage of “EAT…EAT…EEEEAAAAT!” when I’m blogging or reading online.
Glad I could make you laugh…
Fantastic!
It reminded me the month we spent in the US several years ago, craving for a real meal, fed up with all this fried unidentified stuff dipped in mayo. Eventually, the only decent, delicious, and REAL meal we eat in 30 days was in a little Iranian restaurant we found in LA.
Batsheva,
I remember landing at LAX, and upon leaving the international terminal the difference in the scent of the air was striking. I no longer smelled petroleum and weird chemicals in the air, as I had become accustomed to in Dalian. There was a definite odor of deep-fried everything. I thank my lucky stars every day that I know how to shop for good veggies now, and that there are other options besides “Western” food. Yay for Iranian, Thai, Vietnamese and real Chinese food! I even found some here in New Mexico. Anywhere you find a university in the US, you’ll find a population of Chinese. Find them, and they’ll tell you where to find the real stuff!
After living in Tanzania, East Africa for five years my cultural shock came when I went to the grocery stores. First, I went for a simple errand of going to pick up shampoo and my mother asked me to pick up some toilet paper. I arrived home an hour and a half later to my mom almost in hysterics with worry because she could not figure out why I had not returned in 15 minutes. I had simply been preoccupied in a stupor trying to figure out what shampoo to buy. What kind of hair did I have? Dry, oily, permed? What scent did I want? The choices seemed infinite. And then what size would I need? Toilet paper was another black hole of choices…one-ply, two-ply, again with the scents, and did I want 1 roll, 2, 4, 6, 8, 16, or 32 rolls? My second shock came the next trip to the store where I was consumed by not one, but two rows of pet food. I mean really, how many sizes of chew toys do you need to have on the shelf for sale? This was in a grocery store, not a big super wally world or sam club! The terms “excess” and “materialism” did not cover what I was experiencing. The choices made me dizzy. In Tanzania we had two choices…either it was there or not, and usually it was not. That was 22 years ago. Now, unfortunately my eyes are tired and I do not see as well as I did back in the beginning.
Choices are always being made. Your blog makes me want to clean off my smudged glasses and see again with those eyes of first returning to this country. Here is to seeing again!
Katia,
I remember making my friend laugh hysterically at me as I marveled at the aisle of canned beans. So many choices! Too many choices! Here’s to being able to see!
When my uncle moved from Russia to Barbados in the late 70′s he wept, overwhelmed, the first time he walked into a grocery store and saw shelves and shelves of options… And back then there were not the options you see today!
I spent 5 minutes picking out margarine today… Seems kinda dumb now!
Dave,
How do you think we can cultivate greater consciousness? Thinking about your grandfather’s experience must be helpful…
I feel this way every time I go to the grocery store. I am stunned at what people are eating and believing to be real and sustaining food. I get tired of cooking everything decent that I eat ( but even what we make at home is not as free of chemicals as I would like). The shock for me was when we came home from living in the middle east and vacationing in India, the unbridled sexuality and nakedness of our public images and media, it was downright embarrassing.
I understand that, dear friend. I wish I could say the same for returning from China, but the modesty train has already left the station there. It’s all over the media, and girls reflect that in their dress. But without the education and openness of conversations in our culture, there are a lot more cases of unwanted pregnancy, AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases, plus the related emotional traumas of poor self-image, etc.